Tag Archives: #comedy

The Top 5 Secret Tweets Of The Avengers

Comedian and Humourisms.com reporter, George Fox gives us insight into the minds, and daily frustrations, of this years biggest crime-fighting team….. Through their Twitter accounts.

1: The “Incredible” Hulk:

4: The “Invincible” Iron Man

3:The “Mighty” Thor:

2: The “First Avenger” Captain America

1: Nick “Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D” Fury:

George Fox is a Comedian/ Writer based In Dublin, Ireland. He can be seen performing live at numerous venues across Ireland. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook to find out dates for upcoming shows. He also despises the Pig-Vomit creature that is Chris Brown. But, Don’t we all?

Fun Facts About Golden Toilet Duck-Winner, George Fox

Our friend and compatriot George Fox has recently won the coveted Golden Toilet Duck Award, which is like the Oscar for Irish comedians, and we’re very proud of him. He’s going to be famous soon, so to get you all ready, Humourisms proudly presents … Five Fun Facts about George Fox!

1. George Fox’s real name is George ‘Foxxy’  Inferno

Did you think Fox was his actual surname? You poor, misguided fool. A surname like that is not given, it’s earned. It has been scientifically proven that when George Fox comes into contact with a female, the probability of orgasm slowly approaches one. His other pseudonyms include ‘Captain Physical Magnetism’, ‘L’explosion de pantaloon’, and ‘Sex’.  He’s an attractive man, is what I’m saying.

George Fox, displaying how many condoms he needs to cover ALL of his penis

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What I Thought Of Madonna’s Super Bowl Performance……

Time for another article from comedian George Fox, who stayed up late last night to watch the super bowl, and let us know what he thought of the Half-Time performance by Madonna.

 George Fox is a Comedian/ Writer based In Dublin, Ireland. He can be seen performing live at numerous venues across Ireland. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook to find out dates for upcoming shows. He understood VERY little of the actual game last night.

Literal Film Posters: John Candy

Comedian George Fox displays some alternative, and perhaps more truthful, titles for some of our favourite films. Starting with some of the movies of humourisms fave, John Candy…..

BEFORE “PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES” THERE WAS…..

BEFORE “WHO’S HARRY CRUMB?” THERE WAS….

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The Problem With Netflix……

Comedian George Fox returns with a guide to some of the more awkward facets of everyones favourite new way to waste time……. Netflix.

Well, it’s one week on from the launch of Netflix’s video on demand service here in Ireland. We’ve learned alot in that time. Such as how to pretend you’re doing important work on your computer, while actually watching the movie “Spaceballs” and LOVING. EVERY. SECOND.

“Yes, Yes You Are.”

My main issue with Netflix though, is that with such a massive library of titles to choose from, it can be quite daunting trying to find something you might enjoy. But Netflix has thought of this, and so built into the website, is a handy little survey, based on your favourites types of films. You can choose genres, sub genres, themes, years of release, e.t.c.

Indeed, this is a fine idea, as it allows Netflix to specify the types of movies you want to be shown, while also decreasing the amount of times you have to see movies that are crimes against humanity displayed in your “movies you might like” page.

“Truly, There Is No God!”

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Matthew McConaughey’s Secret Battle With Gravity

Comedian George Fox informs us of a very strange battle between movie star Matthew McConaughey and the natural forces of gravity. Yeah, weird….

Over the years I’ve worked many jobs, most of them the kind of horrifically mind numbing wastes of time as to have no value in even being mentioned. But one job, allowed me to discover a battle unlike any other, thats been going on right under our noses, for decades! It was while working for a well known irish music store, (at this point i imagine you’re screaming at the screen, “WHAT!? People don’t buy music you LIAR!”), that I Noticed the pattern.

You see, we also sold DVD’s and after your 500th time alphabetizing a DVD section you start to inherently notice the patterns between the DVD covers.It was at this point that I noticed something VERY strange. At first I didn’t believe it, but then suddenly one day, a third piece of evidence entered the fray and it just clicked. Ladies and Gentleman…..

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY HATES GRAVITY!

He doesn’t trust it, and I’m pretty sure he wants to destroy it.

Evidence A- McCONAUGHEY CAN’T STAND WITHOUT HELP

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What Video Games Taught Us: L.A. Noire

Its a new year for Humourisms.com, and we are happy to welcome back comedian George Fox with his new series looking at gaming lessons learned in 2011.

TITLE: L.A. Noire

WHAT IT TAUGHT US:

- ALWAYS Fuck Around With Crime Scenes:

If L.A Noire made anything clear to gamers in 2011, it was that cops in the 40′s were dickheads. In between driving around town running over pedestrians and stealing….. ahem sorry, “commandeering” other citizens vehicles you would also every now and then have to visit a crime scene. Now you or I may think a crime scene is the kinda place where caution must be taken not to destroy evidence or hamper the investigation by meddling with the body before its been checked for finger prints.

“Fuck that”, say cops of the 1940′s. And then I imagine they go back to drinking their malt, and talking about how everyone on their apartment building floor are “rubes”. I sure hope thats not a racial slur that I’m not aware of.

Evidence can go suck an egg as far as these cops care. You wanna find a criminal? Then go get handsy with that dead, naked body. But only after rummaging through the contents of a nearby bin,and don’t even think about wiping your hands you prissy princess!

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A Bluffers Guide To Christmas Fashion

Its nearly that time of year, so we asked comedian George Fox to aid us in choosing what to wear to all those Christmas parties we weren’t invited to.

-Making X-mas Into XXX-mas:

What better way to celebrate not only Christmas but also that new fountatin you go put in by lying sexily in front of it for all (and your parole officer) to see. Someone fetch me my rosewater…..

He just got a letter from God, it reads “Congratulations buddy, You’re winning at LIFE!”

-CHRISTMAS PIMP STICK:

Why not get in the Christmas mood by picking up your very own yuletide-pimpstick. It allows you to be festive while still making sure you have the opportunity to go upside a bitch’s head (should the need arise). “I promised my sailor uncle that I shall use my pimpstick only for good, so you have ten seconds to get your bow-tie on Reginald before I beat the eyebrows off your face.”

“It may be Christmas, but that doesnt mean you shouldn’t be out on the street corner, earning my dollars, Bitch! Chill b’fo I Curbstomp you ya Yuletiding Bastard!”

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Santa Replies To Childrens Letters

For this weeks article, humourisms.com tasked comedian George Fox with finding something festive to write about, what he returned with was a shocking look at the replies to Children, that Santa NEVER wanted you to see.

Stick “iphone 5″ down on your list, and I’ll happily deliver a kick to your dick.

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The Very Worst Of Adults In Pyjamas

Today George Fox gives us a rundown of the most embarrassing examples of human beings, at their most comfortable.

With the winter arriving and the cold weather nipping at our extremities like a deranged drunk girl in a nightclub trying to get all her female mates to dance to “Single Ladies” because “fuck it! We ARE single ladies!”, now seemed as good a time as any to look at the many ways in which we can try and stave off the cold. My first stop was supposed to be  “Adult Pyjamas”, but what I was visually assaulted with, was a tirade of images so shocking and yet sublime, as to make the rest of my journey a moot point. Clearly this very behaviour in itself MUST be documented, and so I took it upon myself to dive, dignity first, into the world of……..

THE VERY WORST OF ADULTS IN PYJAMAS

COUPLES SECTION:

The “Overly Possessive Boyfriend” Pose:

This is where she lets me  put it. I Put it COS ITS MINE!


The “Oh My God, Is That A Shadow Or….No, No It Couldnt Be…Could it?” Pose.

Either that, or he snuck a Toblerone in with him. A Duty-Free Toblerone.

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