Tag Archives: george fox

What I Thought Of Madonna’s Super Bowl Performance……

Time for another article from comedian George Fox, who stayed up late last night to watch the super bowl, and let us know what he thought of the Half-Time performance by Madonna.

 George Fox is a Comedian/ Writer based In Dublin, Ireland. He can be seen performing live at numerous venues across Ireland. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook to find out dates for upcoming shows. He understood VERY little of the actual game last night.

Why Some Buses NEVER Turn up……Revealed!

Its another new week on Humourisms.com and comedian George Fox is letting us know how his week went, with a shocking revelation. GASP!

 George Fox is a Comedian/ Writer based In Dublin, Ireland. He can be seen performing live at numerous venues across Ireland. Follow him on Twitter or Facebook to find out dates for upcoming shows.

The Problem With Netflix……

Comedian George Fox returns with a guide to some of the more awkward facets of everyones favourite new way to waste time……. Netflix.

Well, it’s one week on from the launch of Netflix’s video on demand service here in Ireland. We’ve learned alot in that time. Such as how to pretend you’re doing important work on your computer, while actually watching the movie “Spaceballs” and LOVING. EVERY. SECOND.

“Yes, Yes You Are.”

My main issue with Netflix though, is that with such a massive library of titles to choose from, it can be quite daunting trying to find something you might enjoy. But Netflix has thought of this, and so built into the website, is a handy little survey, based on your favourites types of films. You can choose genres, sub genres, themes, years of release, e.t.c.

Indeed, this is a fine idea, as it allows Netflix to specify the types of movies you want to be shown, while also decreasing the amount of times you have to see movies that are crimes against humanity displayed in your “movies you might like” page.

“Truly, There Is No God!”

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A Bluffers Guide To Christmas Fashion

Its nearly that time of year, so we asked comedian George Fox to aid us in choosing what to wear to all those Christmas parties we weren’t invited to.

-Making X-mas Into XXX-mas:

What better way to celebrate not only Christmas but also that new fountatin you go put in by lying sexily in front of it for all (and your parole officer) to see. Someone fetch me my rosewater…..

He just got a letter from God, it reads “Congratulations buddy, You’re winning at LIFE!”

-CHRISTMAS PIMP STICK:

Why not get in the Christmas mood by picking up your very own yuletide-pimpstick. It allows you to be festive while still making sure you have the opportunity to go upside a bitch’s head (should the need arise). “I promised my sailor uncle that I shall use my pimpstick only for good, so you have ten seconds to get your bow-tie on Reginald before I beat the eyebrows off your face.”

“It may be Christmas, but that doesnt mean you shouldn’t be out on the street corner, earning my dollars, Bitch! Chill b’fo I Curbstomp you ya Yuletiding Bastard!”

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The Very Worst Of Adults In Pyjamas

Today George Fox gives us a rundown of the most embarrassing examples of human beings, at their most comfortable.

With the winter arriving and the cold weather nipping at our extremities like a deranged drunk girl in a nightclub trying to get all her female mates to dance to “Single Ladies” because “fuck it! We ARE single ladies!”, now seemed as good a time as any to look at the many ways in which we can try and stave off the cold. My first stop was supposed to be  “Adult Pyjamas”, but what I was visually assaulted with, was a tirade of images so shocking and yet sublime, as to make the rest of my journey a moot point. Clearly this very behaviour in itself MUST be documented, and so I took it upon myself to dive, dignity first, into the world of……..

THE VERY WORST OF ADULTS IN PYJAMAS

COUPLES SECTION:

The “Overly Possessive Boyfriend” Pose:

This is where she lets me  put it. I Put it COS ITS MINE!


The “Oh My God, Is That A Shadow Or….No, No It Couldnt Be…Could it?” Pose.

Either that, or he snuck a Toblerone in with him. A Duty-Free Toblerone.

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My Worst Comic Book Ideas

Today on Humourisms, George Fox gives us insight into his creative failings with a selection of his worst ideas for comic books.

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Top 5 Rejected Ideas For Skyrim

It’s Monday once again and George Fox uses his investigative contacts to uncover some secrets from one of the biggest game releases of 2011.

TOP 5 REJECTED IDEAS FOR SKYRIM-

5: “CRAZY HOBO” CHARACTER CLASS

Although “Skyrim” does in fact feature a wealth of numerous classes and species to choose from, one character type and their associated skills that you wont find anywhere in the retail version is the development teams early attempt at a class named “Crazy Hobo” . The character was to have the unique ability of having no interaction in any way whatsoever with the titles main epic adventure storyline. Instead, as a “Crazy Hobo” you would be limited to minor interactions with NPC’s(Non-Player characters) in the towns and villages of “Skyrim”. Planned abilities for this character type included a mini-game where you try to make eye contact with passersby as you ask for spare change, and the ability to be quickly “Moved on” by authorities should you come within 200ft of any local schools. One unique perk that was also available to players of this type was that if they built up enough Magicka through drinking games and swearing at local women, they would be given the opportunity to urinate upon a house of their choosing. Seven moons after committing this deed, the first-born of that household would fall ill and die. This would have unlocked the PS3 Trophy/ Xbox 360 Achievement “Hobo’s Vengeance”.

Will Work For: ELIXIRS/ENCHANTED AMULETS ……………and crack

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Dating: “Victorian Style”

George Fox brightens up our mondays with another exciting volume of his comic series.

SKETCHY DETAILS:

Apparently Victorian men were the last of the true Gentlemen. I’m not so sure…….


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Worst Halloween Costumes For Kids

Halloween is incoming so we asked George Fox to take a look at some of the best of the worst of Halloween.

With only one week to go to Halloween, I’m sure you’ve all thought long and hard about what you’re going to dress up as come the big night. Unless you’re one of those women who pretends she’s going as something different but ALWAYS just turns up as a sexy horny devil. FUCK YOU DEVIL WOMEN. There’s a social contract. New costume or piss off!

Oh, You’re Horny AND You’ve Got Horns…… fuck you.

So to avoid the sexualisation of Halloween costumes for adults, I thought it would be far nicer, and more in keeping with the innocence of Halloween, to look at….

WORST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR KIDS:

-ANGRY BIRDS BABIES/ BABY ANGRY BIRDS?

Love that game you’ve got on your i-phone? Use it at every possible opportunity to avoid having to make conversation with your unbelievable prick of a partner? Then why not show the whole neighbourhood how your communication skills are breaking down piece by piece by dressing your child up as the main character from said game. And if someone dresses their kid up as the villain from that game? GO FOR THE HIGH SCORE!

One Day I Shall Meet My Enemy On The Battlefield….

And On This Day, He Shall Know No Kindness, But Only Pain!

Face Me You Fiend, For That I May View The Guise Of True Evil!

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Top 5 Weird Shopping Finds

George Fox reports back from the front line of one of Ireland’s strangest retail outlets.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, like an unwanted uncle who cares little for “personal space” and even less for knocking before entering the bathroom, christmas is a-coming. No good trying to ignore it, and even less good screaming “Too Soon!” like you’ve just heard a combined Amy Winehouse/Steve Jobs/Hightower from police academy joke. Be jealous of the future folks, for that joke belongs to them.

So this week I decided to document a quick trip I took to one of my local shops, with the hope of finding some weird and wonderful items being stocked on the store shelves in the run up to the X to the Mas time. I tried my best to avoid the obvious X-mas themed items in the hope of finding some, lets say, more unique choices. So, Let me present to you my Top 5 Weird Finds.

5: Bizarre Voodoo Sex Mask/Toy.

This is SEXY, 200 years ago.

Too embarrassed to buy a fleshlight? Hate your penis and want to scare it? Need to disguise your crotch while using a urinal. All these reasons and more are no excuse for the creepiness of this housewares item. Who is buying this?

Random Lady: “Oh my god, its perfect! I’m just so tired of waking up in the middle of the night, turning on the bathroom light, and NOT screaming my head off at a horrifying icon of terror!”

or perhaps

Random Man: “Hey, congrats on the new baby. I just thought id buy you a little something to hang above his bed to keep him company……..and also ensure he spends his adult years crafting furniture out of the skin of drifters that cross his path while wandering the railroads.”

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